Thomas Valenta: Second coming of Kindji, or just a fraud?

Banska Stiavnica- A new English teacher has popped up in the Bilingual Gymnazium of Andrej Kmet. He has struck a certain note with some students.Rumours have been spreading about Mr. Valenta being the new “Kindji, a celebrity teacher beloved by many students, who has now, sadly, moved onto a different school. But how much validity do these claims hold?

Many different students reported being ‘uncomfortable’ at Mr. Valenta’s lessons, due to his, rather unusual, methods of getting his students to be active during lessons. An anonymous student has claimed that the exact phrases Mr. Valenta used to persuade their classmates were quote: ‘By the end of this year your mouths will be wide open’ and quote ‘I do not take ‘no’ for an answer.’. Apparently he also has a sort of trademark stare, that seems to pierce right through you, reported by students as ‘if he was able to see into your very soul.’.

 

Questionable teaching methods aside, he has also been spotted rolling up his own ciggarettes outside the school building. While the substance he used has been reported as tobacco, you can never be sure about how far he can take this. If he would be using other, possibly illegal substances it would be very unproffesional and possibly career-ruining for him. You wouldn’t want your child being taught by someone who, as the kids say, ‘spark up the devil’s lettuce’, wouldn’t you?

 

We hope you make your own assumptions about this case either way, we just wanted to give our narrative out there, possibly to spark some debates about this matter.

 

-Star Magazine (Samuel Sedliak)

Golem

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One thought on “Thomas Valenta: Second coming of Kindji, or just a fraud?

  • 29. november 2016 at 11:06
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    Great job, Samuel!

    (Brief: KAJ 2C: write a tabloid article about your colleague. Make it attractive, witty, juicy, make it sound really tabloid. Roast ‘em! I wrote one about Samuel, too. I’ve encouraged him to feel free to roast me. He did. You’re good, Samuel! Keep on writing!!!)
    TV

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